Detailing new running shoes available in February, including Saucony Endorphin Azura, Brooks Glycerin Flex, HOKA Cielo X1 3.0, Mizuno Neo Zen 2 and ASICS Gel-Nimbus 28.
Brooks Glycerin Flex
- 36 mm/30 mm (6 mm drop)
- US M9: 9.1 oz (258 g)| US W8: 8 oz (227 g)
- $170 | Available now
Ok, it’s official: Brooks has too many variations of the Glycerin. I’d say the Ghost must be jealous, but inanimate objects can’t feel anything. God, I wish I was an inanimate object.
The Flex is the latest addition to the lineup, joining the likes of the Glycerin Max, Glycerin GTS, the standard Glycerin, of which the 23th edition is now available, and the Glycerin Pro.
Brooks innovatively markets the new shoe by so boldly daring runners to “flex the rules” — not to be confused with the superior act of breaking the rules. The rule in question? Making a shoe’s outsole the most exciting feature of a shoe. Now, that is bold.
In the outsole, Brooks introduces what they call an innovative flex groove and podular flexibility that “work together to provide flexibility and support where you need it most.”
But perhaps it’s what on top of the shoe, specifically, the figurative price tag, that is most appealing. At $170, it’s the cheapest least expensive in the Glycerin line, all of which have DNA TUNED in the midsole, the nitrogen-infused foam with larger cells in the heel for softer landings, and smaller, more densely packed cells in the forefoot for enhanced responsiveness.
Let’s just hope you’re ready to flex your wallet and break the bank.
Oh, and I totally made up the Glycerin Pro.
Saucony Endorphin Azura
- 40 mm/32 mm (8 mm drop)
- US M9: 8.5 oz (240g) US W8: 7.5 oz (212g)
- $150 | Available now
Saucony tells Brooks “Hold my beer” with the introduction of yet another “Endorphin” pair. That now makes six Endorphins, if you count the Endorphin LD and XC track spikes, which I certainly don’t, and neither should you.
Poor Saucony still hasn’t learned that endocannabinoids — not endorphins — are the true cause of the runner’s high. Is it too late for them to change the name of all six four of their shoes? Of course not! It’s never too late to correct mistakes, and Saucony sure has made a shit ton of them over the years. Like the Endorphin Shift. You remember that brick? Of course you do! It sucked! And please don’t waste brain space trying to remember the Endorphin Edge — it was a trail shoe, for crying out loud. Eww!
Anyway, this pair named after an inferior shade of blue, has PWRRUN PB foam underfoot and a light weight of 8.5 oz for a men’s size 9 and 7.5 oz for women’s size 8. Saucony claims the Azura helps you run fast—sadly, I won’t be able to disprove that statement because Saucony hates me, for some reason. They’re the one brand who won’t send me shoes for wear testing. They’re lucky I’m even including them in this list. You’re welcome, Saucony! Bastards.
Mizuno Neo Zen 2
- 40 mm/34 mm (6 mm drop)
- US M9: 8.5 oz (241g) | US W7: 7.5 oz (210g)
- $160 | Available Now
With nitrogen-infused ENERZY NXT foam in the midsole, and a newly redesigned upper combining breathable mesh and stretchy knit, Mizuno says this lightweight daily trainer is designed for “dedicated runners.” Ouch! In other words, casual runner scum should not buy this shoe.
It’s certainly a questionable business move to alienate a vast majority of runners, but who am I to judge? I have a website named after the immense girth of my tootsies that alienates a vast majority of runners. Also, this shoe is not produced in size 15, literally alienating size 15 runners.
What is a smart business move, however, is naming a running shoe (or anything) after Neo from The Matrix. If I could switch places with anyone on the face of the earth, dead or alive, it’d be Keanu Reeves: a tremendous actor and even better person. Even when he acts poorly in shitty movies, he’s still awesome. Hell, he could put out an album composed strictly of fart sounds and I’d buy it—twice. Physically and digitally.
Although we never really know a celebrity’s true nature, there’s enough evidence out there that suggests he’s unequivocally “the man.” That is, until evidence comes out that he’s in the Epstein files. If that day comes, we’ll know without a doubt there is no God.
ASICS Gel-Nimbus 28
- 43.5 mm/35.5 mm (8 mm drop)
- US M9: 9.9 oz (281g) | US W8: 8.5 oz (242g)
- $170 | Available now
The Gel-Nimbus arrived on the scene long before On copied ASICS by naming their entire shoe lineup after clouds. (Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery?) It is the 28th edition, after all. These days, it’s rare for any shoe to make it past 20 editions. Every pair is either discontinued or renamed to something much, much dumber.
However, the downside to long-running flagship pairs like the Nimbus is a lack of innovation year over year. “We mustn’t scare off delusional brand loyalists terrified of change!” Case in point: folks nearly had a heart attack when ASICS decided to hide the PureGel within the shoe starting with the 25th edition. Just like plates not visible through the outsole, you’ll just have to take their word that it exists—an awful tough ask for atheists.
But the Nimbus 28 isn’t just another Nimbus! It’s 20 grams lighter than the previous version, switches from an engineered mesh to an engineered knit upper, and…I guess that’s it? Hmm, I’d thought there’d be more. At least there are new colorways?
HOKA Cielo X1 3.0
- 37 mm/30 mm (7 mm drop)
- US M10: 7.5 oz (213g) | US W8: 6.2 oz (175g)
- $275 | Available Now
This carbon-plated racer is yet another pair that isn’t made in size 15, so I really shouldn’t be giving it coverage on a website called The Size 15 Runner. I ought to be ashamed; it’s sacrilegious. I’m a real piece of shit!
But with a PEBA midsole, compression-molded Polyurethane outsole, a feather light weight, and, umm, asymmetrical lacing (?), this shoe looks fun! Oh, wait. It’s $275! Perhaps it’s a good thing it’s not available in size 15? It’s likely highly overrated, anyway.
Although, I gotta say, that “asymmetrical lacing” has really piqued my interest. What does that even mean?! Lacing that’s not symmetrical? Is that a good thing?! I have a hard enough time already trying to secure a sufficient foot lockdown with symmetrical laces. I can’t imagine having disproportionate laces is going to help.
Also, what’s with the “3.0” naming convention? HOKA, you’re not fooling anyone; running shoes are not technology. How about you guys drop the “.0” and use a number without a decimal like literally every other shoe in existence. Related: Adidas’s Adizero Prime X3 STRUNG can FUCK OFF.
This post includes some affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase using the links (at no extra cost to you.)
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