Strongly urging his thousands of dedicated, niche-specific followers not to let him sway their opinions or purchasing decisions, running influencer TJ Bailey is shilling the self-confidence needed to ignore him.
During his livestream today, TJ shamelessly made a passionate plea to his followers to steer clear of his content:
“Hey guys! What’s going on?
So, look, there’s something I need to say. Umm, I never intended to become an influencer. It’s ironic — I don’t think I’ve ever influenced any family, friends, or co-workers to do anything. This whole running thing is just a hobby; I’m in it for the love of the sport. I produce content solely as a creative outlet and have no intention of profiting off anyone, especially not naïve runners. Frankly, I’m probably the last person you should be listening to. I’m unemployed and live in my parents’ basement. I know jack shit about success. Plus, I haven’t showered in, like, three days. Ok, four days.
Besides, you know what they say, ‘Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.’ That’s why, for a limited time, I’m offering an exclusive promo code just for you guys. In the promo code box on my blog, enter promo code “BEYOURSELF”, that’s B-E-Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F, and you’ll be removed from my newsletter mailing list. Again, that’s promo code “BEYOURSELF”, that’s B-E-Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F.
Also, guys, don’t forget to hit the unsubscribe button on my YouTube channel. Oh, and while you’re at it, could you please do me a big favor and tap the unfollow button on all my socials? Better to be a leader than a follower.
Thanks guys! Your lack of support truly means the world to me!”
- Runner Clearly Only Stopped In Café To Use Restroom, Pretends Otherwise
- Report: “The Yips” Afflicting Runners at Alarming Rate
- Road Runner Transitions to Trail Runner—Not Everyone Is an Ally
- “It’s a Wonderful Run” Shows It’s a Miserable Life Without Running
- Company Confuses ‘Biannual,’ Locks Itself Into Double the Shoe Updates
- Mattel Bows to Trump’s Demands With Homoerotic Runner Ken Doll
- Creep “Flirts” with Crush Solely Using Strava
- FanDuel Lets You Bet on Amateur Runners—Even Your Daughter
- LA Marathon Scraps Finisher Medals for Starter Participation Trophies
- Tracksmith Sells Singlet for “Losers” Failing to Qualify for Boston
- ESPN Cancels Ill-Advised “First Take” Running Spinoff Show
- Teresa Never Experiences Runner’s High with Boyfriend, Continues Faking It
- Brock Furious He Must Finish Current Step Before Taking Next Step
- Ted Dreads Honeymoon Abroad — “Where the Hell Will I Run?”
- Psychopath Runs In Total Silence, Waves Like It’s Normal
- Company Scraps Carbon Neutral Commitment; Will Emit More CO2
- Boston Marathon Renames Heartbreak Hill to “One Big Beautiful Hill”
- Guy Unsure When, Why, or How He Became a Runner
- Saucony Swaps Insensitive ‘Hurricane’ Shoe Name for ‘Earthquake’
- JD Vance Unveils “F*ck a Couch to 5K” Plan
- Runner Does Same Route in Same Shoes—Refuses to Do Missionary
- Amid Batshit Prices, Runners Resort to Renting Shoes
- CEO Admits New Running Shoe “Ass”: “We’ve Made it Worse”
- Saucony Partners with Duolingo to Educate Runners on ‘Saucony’ Pronunciation
- Archaeologists Unearth Prehistoric Running Shoe Circa 2019
- Kevin Refuses to Go Down on Wife During Marathon Training
- Healed Injury Refuses to Quit Being Mitch’s Excuse Not to Run
- Goldendoodle “Winston” Burned Out from Marathon Training
- Luis Swears He’ll Run Tomorrow—Same Lie as Yesterday
- Running Influencer Calls for Inclusive Sport That Excludes Pros
- Gregory Desperately Trying to Outrun “The Runs” Mid-Run
- Diehard Vegan Unknowingly Commits Insect Genocide on Every Run
- D.A.R.E. Out: Schools Use Runner’s High as Drug-Free Strategy
- Dos Equis Introduces the “Most Interesting Runner in the World”
- Report: Straight White Male Runner Not Center of Universe
- Game Over: Kyle Convinced Bullpen Entrance Song Gives Him Edge in Race
- Researchers Determine Heel Pull Tabs Serve No Purpose
- Running Influencer Shills Self-Confidence Not to Follow Him
- Nike Launches Highly Anticipated Betafly Shoe for Cucks
- Reviews Are In: Kids Running Movie Can’t Go the Distance
- Derek Calls Night Runs ‘Relaxing,’ Mystified by Concept of Women’s Safety


