It’s a Wonderful Run, a horror reimagining of the 1946 Christmas classic, It’s a Wonderful Life, hits theaters today. The film centers around Jorge Bailey, who’s shown what his life would be like without running — it’s grim.
Throughout the 130-minute run time, Jorge’s life unfolds in flashbacks, including the day his father, Peter, first forced Jorge to run with him. It quickly becomes apparent, much like Kelly Clarkson’s unapologetically co-dependent pop ballad of a similar name, Jorge’s life would suck without running.
But fresh off a DNF at the Bedford Falls Marathon and failing yet again to qualify for the Boston Marathon, Jorge is just about to give up the sport for good, until a guardian running coach, Clarence, appears. Clarence shows Jorge how his life would’ve turned out without racking up miles over the years. The sequences that follow are truly the stuff of nightmares.
We first observe Jorge suffering from severe depression, caused by the sinister nature of the world in the 2020’s, coupled with no regular release of endorphins to boost his mood. Jorge spends his days lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking there ought to be more to life. When he does finally leave the comfort of the sheets, he hardly ever steps foot on the streets. Instead, choosing the comfort of the couch over starting a “couch to 5k” training plan.
In this bleak reality, Jorge lives alone, with no social life of any kind. Having never joined his local running club, he never made friends, met his wife Maria, nor had three children who—surprisingly—hate running.
The final shot of the film finds Jorge in a mental institution, crouched in a straight jacket, rocking back and forth. It’s explained, without running, he was driven insane from the pressure of his demanding, soul-sucking corporate job. Poor fella never got to experience running’s benefits, including improved sleep, sharpened focus, and enhanced physical and mental health. And he didn’t have an outlet to reduce stress hormones like cortisol.
“You see,” Clarence tells Jorge, “No man is a failure who runs.”
Produced by the Running Association of America, It’s a Wonderful Run is obvious propaganda for the sport — and it’s quite effective. The film makes no mention of Christmas.
- Runner Clearly Only Stopped In Café To Use Restroom, Pretends Otherwise
- Derek Calls Night Runs ‘Relaxing,’ Mystified by Concept of Women’s Safety
- Boston Marathon Renames Heartbreak Hill to “One Big Beautiful Hill”
- UCAN Sponsors Male Runner After Demonstrating “Elite Virility” in Impregnating Wife
- Runner Finally Comfortable Enough to Drop from 10- to 9-Inch Inseam
- Healed Injury Refuses to Quit Being Mitch’s Excuse Not to Run
- Report: Straight White Male Runner Not Center of Universe
- Diehard Vegan Unknowingly Commits Insect Genocide on Every Run
- New Balance Unveils the ‘OUT-AND-BACK,’ Finally Offering Alternative to the ‘TRACK’
- Reviews Are In: Kids Running Movie Can’t Go the Distance
- Gel Brand Drops Marathoner After Pregnancy Deemed Incompatible With Peak Performance
- Nike and 41-Year-Old Kipchoge Aim to Shave Entire Hour off Marathon Record
- Report: “The Yips” Afflicting Runners at Alarming Rate
- Runner’s World Confirms Shoe Stack Height the New “Penis Size”
- Boston Qualifiers Alarmed by Growing Trend of Charity Runners “Helping Other People”
- Runner Does Same Route in Same Shoes—Refuses to Do Missionary
- Running Influencer Calls for Inclusive Sport That Excludes Pros
- Guy Unsure When, Why, or How He Became a Runner
- Report: ‘Pain Cave’ More Closely Resembles ‘Pain Cavern’
- FanDuel Lets You Bet on Amateur Runners—Even Your Daughter
- LA Marathon Scraps Finisher Medals for Starter Participation Trophies
- Goldendoodle “Winston” Burned Out from Marathon Training
- Running Warehouse Shutters Operations Following Departure of Its Heart and Soul
- Amateur Runner Self-Imposes 5-Year Ban After Admitting to Creatine Use
- Kevin Refuses to Go Down on Wife During Marathon Training
- Study Finds Energy Gels Provide No Nutritional Value, Entirely Placebo
- Teresa Never Experiences Runner’s High with Boyfriend, Continues Faking It
- Saucony Swaps Insensitive ‘Hurricane’ Shoe Name for ‘Earthquake’
- Running Influencer Shills Self-Confidence Not to Follow Him
- Tracksmith Sells Singlet for “Losers” Failing to Qualify for Boston
- Brock Furious He Must Finish Current Step Before Taking Next Step
- Cyclists Demand Inclusion in Nike Ad That Acknowledges Everyone Except Them
- Researchers Determine Heel Pull Tabs Serve No Purpose
- Researchers Determine Men’s Marathon Record More Impressive Than Cure for Cancer
- Gregory Desperately Trying to Outrun “The Runs” Mid-Run
- World Athletics Adopts ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Course for Road Running Championships
- Method Runner Refuses to Break Character When Not Running
- Mattel Bows to Trump’s Demands With Homoerotic Runner Ken Doll
- D.A.R.E. Out: Schools Use Runner’s High as Drug-Free Strategy
- Courageous Runner Tempts Fate By Wearing Two Left (L) Socks
- Boston’s Top American Talbi Reveals He Wore Glasses to Avoid Detection as Contender
- Game Over: Kyle Convinced Bullpen Entrance Song Gives Him Edge in Race
- Boston Marathon Bans Porta-Potties, Requires Runners to Carry Own Waste
- Psychopath Runs In Total Silence, Waves Like It’s Normal
- Creep “Flirts” with Crush Solely Using Strava
- 4/20 Casts Cloud Over Boston Marathon; Spectators Oddly Chill, Runners Compromised
- CEO Admits New Running Shoe “Ass”: “We’ve Made it Worse”
- ESPN Cancels Ill-Advised “First Take” Running Spinoff Show
- JD Vance Unveils “F*ck a Couch to 5K” Plan
- Archaeologists Unearth Prehistoric Running Shoe Circa 2019
- Amid Batshit Prices, Runners Resort to Renting Shoes
- NYRR Replaces Road Races with Trail Races; Unveils 19+1 Program
- Luis Swears He’ll Run Tomorrow—Same Lie as Yesterday
- “It’s a Wonderful Run” Shows It’s a Miserable Life Without Running
- Ted Dreads Honeymoon Abroad — “Where the Hell Will I Run?”
- Dos Equis Introduces the “Most Interesting Runner in the World”
- Saucony Partners with Duolingo to Educate Runners on ‘Saucony’ Pronunciation
- Company Confuses ‘Biannual,’ Locks Itself Into Double the Shoe Updates
- Company Scraps Carbon Neutral Commitment; Will Emit More CO2
- After F1: Drive to Survive Success, Netflix Orders 6 Seasons of “Run to Have Fun”
- Road Runner Transitions to Trail Runner—Not Everyone Is an Ally


