WASHINGTON, DC — Debunking what running scholars have long maintained, a damning new report released Friday by the International Association for the Study of Discomfort (IASD) finds that the “pain cave” more closely resembles a “pain cavern.”
Described as a state of all-consuming suffering, the pain cavern is typically entered by athletes immersed in distance running.
Though the two terms are largely synonymous, the report states the key distinction lies within the pronunciation.
“In comparing the two words, it becomes clear ‘cavern’ sounds vastly more ominous than cave,” said IASD Chief Science Officer Mathias Scheller. “Cavern, therefore, is the more appropriate descriptor for runners to employ when deep in the depths of despair. Not to be overlooked, ‘cavernous’ is already a well-established adjective that pairs seamlessly.”
At press time, Scheller was leaning toward finding “pain pit” the most accurate term due to the alliteration.
