To wave, or not to wave? For many runners, that is the pivotal question when we spot each other in the wild. But should it really even be up for debate? Here’s the case for why runners should always follow the “golden running rule” and acknowledge each other….and everyone else we encounter on the pavement or trails.
An action of love
We’ve all been there. You see a fellow runner approaching on the opposite side of the road and start to tense up as you wonder if you should acknowledge their existence. For many, it’s not a question: you gladly say “hi” to any and every runner, biker, walker, driver, and even animal you see on the run. And then there are the others—the runners who pretend they don’t notice you. They’re so focused on their crucial run they can’t possibly turn their head a few inches to see you huffing and puffing a mere few feet away.
I’m no Mother Teresa, but if I recall, she famously said, “Every time you wave at a runner, walker, or biker, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Ok, I might have misquoted her slightly, but you get the idea. I recognize that the act of running doesn’t always make runners feel joyous, and that’s ok! Unlike Mother Teresa, you don’t have to smile. Just a simple hand gesture is more than sufficient.
“Self-conscious about the size of your hands or the state of your fingernails? Then simply offer a harmless nod. Your head is already bouncing up and down while running – how difficult is it to add a little extra head movement?”
It’s simply about acknowledging the existence of another human being, and making the other person feel seen. And why not show camaraderie and admiration for a fellow runner? Running may be the one thing you have in common, but that one thing is pretty powerful.
It’s not very much to ask; your arms are already up and swinging at your sides. Why not lift your hand a few more inches? Listening to music or a podcast? You don’t have to pause it or even open your mouth to speak! Nor are you required to stop and engage in conversation, even if you know the person – you’re running!
Self-conscious about the size of your hands or the state of your fingernails? Then simply offer up a harmless nod. Your head is already bouncing up and down while running – how difficult is it to add in a little extra head movement?
Do it for yourself!
To the non-wavers out there, I see you, and I used to be one of you. I kept to myself and didn’t wave out of concern that the other person didn’t want to acknowledge me — an ordinary, everyday runner. But over time, as my confidence as a runner grew, my perspective changed. If runners waved at me, and I didn’t wave back, I felt badly. They were offering up a bid to connect, and I rejected it. Furthermore, if I waved and didn’t get a wave back, I wasn’t the one who would look foolish!
If you have no conscience and hate people, then do it for yourself! That’s right, there are health benefits! Bob Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, encourages people to “seek out and notice opportunities for friendly moments of uplift.” What’s more uplifting than receiving a wave and a “hello” from a stranger while struggling to finish a long run in the abusive humidity? Dr. Waldinger states that, “Brief but warm exchanges have a direct effect on happiness.” He adds that these interactions can affect our mood and energy. Don’t buy it? Ongoing research started in the 1970s has shown that these exchanges contribute to a greater sense of well-being, according to the New York Times.
Nothing to lose
The bottom line: Running is the most inclusive sport, and the running community is comprised of some of the most friendly, unique, and humble people you’ll ever encounter. Why pass up the opportunity to connect with one of them? Why not “run with them” for 10 seconds as you pass by them? At the very least, it gives you a chance to check out (and judge) their running shoes and outfit. Your running gear is definitely superior to theirs.
Concerned they won’t wave back at you? Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex, helps quell your fear of being ignored: “They don’t know you, so they’re not rejecting you based on who you are.”
Don’t worry, “the wave” only applies while you’re running. You can go back to ignoring friends, family, colleagues, and strangers whenever else you see them. I sure do.
