Increasingly losing patience with each stride, gym rat Brock Schwartz expressed unbridled outrage that he must finish his current step before he can move on to take the next step of his two-and-a-half-mile run.
Teresa Never Experiences Runner’s High with Boyfriend, Continues Faking It
Careful not to bruise the fragile ego of her insecure boyfriend, Teresa Sanchez routinely fakes experiencing the runner’s high on their runs together.
Company Confuses ‘Biannual,’ Locks Itself Into Double the Shoe Updates
What began as a running company’s confusion over the word “biannual” has inadvertently solidified into a release strategy involving updating each shoe twice a year — instead of once every other year.
Game Over: Kyle Convinced Bullpen Entrance Song Gives Him Edge in Race
Weaponizing bullpen entrance music strictly as intimidation, Kyle Ward is convinced running his entire half marathon to the same 60-second clip of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” will give him an edge over other racers — none of whom can hear it through his earbuds.
Derek Calls Night Runs ‘Relaxing,’ Mystified by Concept of Women’s Safety
Blessed with the gender to exist without fear, Derek Kinney trots carefree and uninhibited wherever and whenever he desires.
Ever the thrill-seeker, Derek spices up his routes with isolated stretches of road, back alleys, and darkened street corners.
Healed Injury Refuses to Quit Being Mitch’s Excuse Not to Run
What started as a somewhat legitimate injury for Mitch Hollins has quickly devolved into quite the illegitimate excuse not to run, possibly ever again.