With no restroom, porta-potty, woods, or hole in the ground within a 3-mile vicinity, Gregory Bachman III is absolutely terrified he’s gonna shit his pants before making it home from running.
Road Runner Transitions to Trail Runner—Not Everyone Is an Ally
Discovering that running on dirt feels far more natural than asphalt, Kendall Parker has transitioned from a road runner to a trail runner — finally becoming who she was always meant to be.
Mattel Bows to Trump’s Demands With Homoerotic Runner Ken Doll
Today, Mattel introduced a “Runner Ken” doll to settle President Trump’s frivolous lawsuit over the “feminazi” Barbie film—more than two whole years after its release. The Ken doll comes in …
Luis Swears He’ll Run Tomorrow—Same Lie as Yesterday
After once again breaking his promise (to himself) to run today — as he has each day the past two weeks — Luis Ortiz swears he’s actually going running tomorrow. There’s only one problem. Luis has expressed the exact same sentiment the past 10 consecutive days. But this time, he really means it — a sentiment he’s expressed the past 5 consecutive days.
Dos Equis Introduces the “Most Interesting Runner in the World”
Choosing a runner as the face of the campaign is a curious one — one that makes no sense, given runners notoriously have the worst taste in beer.
Ted Dreads Honeymoon Abroad — “Where the Hell Will I Run?”
Blame it on American exceptionalism, xenophobia, or not-so-closeted racism, but Ted hasn’t stepped foot outside the U.S. in 45 years on Earth. His definition of “abroad” consists of leaving his state.