A shocking new report from Al Jazeera finds a disturbing number of runners developing a nasty case of “the yips” — the sudden and unexplained loss of skills typical to an athlete’s ability. Mr. Jazeera estimates a whopping total of three runners each year simply forget how to run, and no amount of trying to remember will help them regain the ability to place one foot in front of the other at a slightly accelerated pace.
Runners inflicted with the yips, or, “yippies,” as the report’s author dubs them, are left with far more questions than answers. Crucial questions like: “Is it left foot, right foot? Or right foot, left foot? Or do I land with both the left and right foot at the same time, like I’m hopping. Is that why Rabbit and Tracksmith both use a bunny for their logo? Or, maybe the act of running is like a game of hopscotch where I alternate landing with one and two feet? Perhaps I’m supposed to use my hands and do a sort of crab walk situation?”
It’s quite the peculiar phenomenon that is baffling scientists, scholars, and philosophers alike because it defies logic. Running, undoubtedly, is the easiest activity to perform. An untrained monkey can do it. A blind, three-legged dog can do it, too. Hell, running is innate to homo sapiens as a species.
Symptoms of the yips
The report notes the yips are sometimes described as “mental static,” as it affects athletes at every level and on some of the biggest stages. Therefore, runners developing the yips is very bizarre, for two obvious reasons. First: not all who run can be considered athletes. (Have you seen runners lately?) Second: Your average runner will simply never be found on the biggest stages—they run for “fun” and they run extremely slowly. There’s absolutely no pressure to perform because not a soul in the world wants to watch them run. It’d be like half as exciting as watching paint dry. Actually, make that a quarter as exciting.
Typically, the yips wreak havoc on athletes in a state of nervous tension in the performance of a crucial action. Think: golfers, basketball and baseball players, or kickers in football. Not in a “sport” like running that doesn’t require throwing, catching, driving, holding, hitting, scoring, passing, swinging, putting, dribbling, shooting, fouling, punching, blocking, tossing, tackling, kicking, or doing literally anything but moving your feet forward. You just run…for an extended period of time.
Furthermore, the sport of running — if you can even call it a sport — has no teammates to disappoint. No balls to drop. No swings and misses. No putts to screw up. No plays to botch. No goal posts or hoops to miss wildly. No timeouts to burn at the worst possible times. No flawed strategy to devise and then blindly follow. And, no actual rules.
But as the report highlights, the yips don’t discriminate; it’s an equal opportunity inflictor. Hence, runners of all backgrounds, ages, and experience levels are at risk of developing a wicked bad case of the yips.
Treatment
The most important thing for yippies to keep in mind is that they’re not alone. Remember, there are roughly three runners each year that also cannot — for the life of them — regain the ability to place one foot in front of the other at a slightly accelerated pace.
While there’s no known cure for the yips, all hope is not lost. Yippies can still….as Kris Jenner once advised in an NBC Public Service Announcement, “get daily exercise by taking walks after dinner, going on bike rides, or throwing a dance party like Kris says her wonderful family does. She encourages, “Everyone is more likely to have fun and stay fit when you’re all on the same team.”
