Making running fun…by making fun of it
Let’s not bury the lede: the Wave Rider 29 has a plate! Before you cream your jeans, it’s not a real plate. The MIZUNO WAVE plate is made of PEBAX RNEW, a “plant-based high-performance TPU.” Told you it wasn’t the real deal. Don’t expect this plate to provide the same experience of carbon fiber or nylon plates. It doesn’t. And that’s not its purpose. The plate helps provide a more stable platform and extra cushioning. Yawn.
Despite sharing the same run club, Vincent “Big Cheese” Feredoni is pursuing his crush Emma entirely through Strava. Vincent firmly believes Strava holds the key to unlocking his involuntary, figurative chastity belt.
Craig Andreason always runs the same flat, uneventful 4-mile route in the same all-black Brooks Adrenaline GTS, yet refuses to have missionary sex with his wife Judith.
The Balos has accomplished quite the feat: it’s the first running shoe you can simultaneously pronate and supinate in! I didn’t think that was conceivable, but as New Balance says: “Impossible is nothing.” Wait, I think that’s Nike’s tagline. I’m exaggerating, of course, but if you’re not a neutral runner, do not try this shoe. Hell, even if you are a neutral runner, this shoe may not work for you. It’s one of the least stable shoes I’ve run in…ever.
Setting aside the total abomination of a script, astonishingly poor direction, and pitiful acting, there are several problems with the film’s subject matter. Firstly, running doesn’t translate well to the big screen. The average person struggles to name any film about running, let alone a single one worth watching.
A new report finds fewer U.S. runners than ever before can afford to own a pair of running shoes, effectively turning the American Runner’s Dream into a pipe dream. Whether it’s tariffs, imaginary supply chain issues, or corporate gluttony, purchasing a pair of running shoes has never been more impractical.