Today, Mattel introduced a “Runner Ken” doll to settle President Trump’s frivolous lawsuit over the “feminazi” Barbie film—more than two whole years after its release. The Ken doll comes in …
Luis Swears He’ll Run Tomorrow—Same Lie as Yesterday
After once again breaking his promise (to himself) to run today — as he has each day the past two weeks — Luis Ortiz swears he’s actually going running tomorrow. …
Dos Equis Introduces the “Most Interesting Runner in the World”
Choosing a runner as the face of the campaign is a curious one — one that makes no sense, given runners notoriously have the worst taste in beer.
Ted Dreads Honeymoon Abroad — “Where the Hell Will I Run?”
Blame it on American exceptionalism, xenophobia, or not-so-closeted racism, but Ted hasn’t stepped foot outside the U.S. in 45 years on Earth. His definition of “abroad” consists of leaving his state.
Guy Unsure When, Why, or How He Became a Runner
Experiencing a mid-run epiphany that he’s figuratively on a path to nowhere while literally—and simultaneously—running away from and toward nothing, Albert Lee has absolutely no idea why he’s currently running.
Creep “Flirts” with Crush Solely Using Strava
Despite sharing the same run club, Vincent “Big Cheese” Feredoni is pursuing his crush Emma entirely through Strava. Vincent firmly believes Strava holds the key to unlocking his involuntary, figurative chastity belt.